Are you too busy chasing being 'healed' you forget to actually heal?!

We are pushed into a narrative that we should always be healing in order to make it to some far away, Magickal, enlightened, upgraded soul wisdom. If we are in pursuit of this goal, then we are just failing ourselves and acting from an 'unhealed, ego' place.

What happens when we get sucked into this narrative, is we play into the hands of the toxic personal development culture and line the purses of all the healers and gurus promising to have all the answers.

Listen, I'm all about healing. Living in a world where we are all loving on ourselves and others is a world I want to live in. I absolutely adore teaching Reiki and helping people see their sparkle. What I also see in the spiritual community is a meat market vibe which grosses me out. It's all about the follows, the aesthetic, the likes, the perfect healing programmes that will bring you enlightenment. It's even sometimes using the idea that you aren't good enough as you are right now as a marketing tool to make you want to buy their shit.

I'm so over it. I've taken a step back from the spiritual world because of energy like that creeping its way in clouding the whole community.

You can not 'heal' when you are pressuring yourself. When you're hating on yourself for not being who you think you should be. When you judge yourself for not eating a plant based diet or for not giving up red wine yet. When you start getting impatient with yourself because your mental illness is making it hard for you to be all love and light all the live long fucking day.

Let's be real. Because dishonesty and fakery is really tainting our vision on what being 'healed ' is. It isn't a journey with this sparking end where everything is perfect and wonderful. Calling it a journey is somewhat problematic because it feeds this idea it will end somewhere and everything will be miraculously changed.

Being 'healed' is a bit of a smoke screen. I have real trauma in my past, because of which I have a mental illness called CPTSD. I am not 'healed' from that trauma. But I understand it and myself better as the years go by. But that has only really happened when I stopped trying. Stopped trying to forgive - because that's the 'healed' thing to do. Stopped trying to force myself to think or feel in a way which would be 'better' for me. And just started to love on myself.

Being 'healed' means not judging myself for not feeling like love and light sometimes. It means not hating myself for sometimes choosing wine instead of some immunity boosting smoothie. For not feeling like a failure when I need to scream and cry and feel angry to my past abusers.

Being healed is actually finally giving myself permission to be real. Be human. Be me. And love myself whoever that may be any given day. To give myself grace and compassion for once in my life. No pressure or bullshit.

Look, some people thrive inside the 'organised healing' container. It helps them, brings them comfort and good for every single one of them. If you do something with the intention of self love and compassion, then amazing. But if you do it to dispel old demons and make everything go away and be better forever. then, you could be at risk of feeling like a failure somewhere down the line. Because, I'm afraid when it comes to trauma it doesn't go poof and magickally disappear. Nothing can make it not have happened. Nothing can make the past change. It happened. And it sucks. But finding empowerment - and maybe even peace - in that can be real game changing.

You are enough exactly as you are RIGHT NOW. Yep, even if your glued to your bed or sofa and haven't showered for three day and have had a diet of pizza and doughnuts. You are so fucking enough its crazy. You are navigating a chaotic - and really overwhelming - human life. You're doing better than you think. So, just take a breath and love on yourself harder. That's healing, right there. No frills. Alone and forgiving yourself for eating pizza and staring at the wall for three days. Saying to yourself 'It's OK'.

That's the Magick formula right there.

I hope you love yourself harder today - you deserve it.